Bar jokes

Guy walks into a bar with a dog
Bartender says "What are you doing with that mangy old fleabag?"
Guys says "Cut him some slack. He's a dog.
Bartender says "I'm sorry. I was out of line."
Dog punches bartender in face.


Duck walks into a bar
Says "Got any grapes?"
Bartender says "No."
Next day, duck walks into the bar
"Got any grapes?"
Bartender says "No, we ain't got no grapes."
Next day, duck walks into the bar
"Got any grapes?"
Bartender says "No, I told you we ain't got no grapes, and if you ask me again, I'll nail you to the wall."
Duck says "Got any nails?"
Bartender says "No."
"Got any grapes?"
Bartender buys nails
Kills duck


Man walks into a bar
Says "Ouch"
Bar patrons stare at him


Bear walks into a bar
Says to the bartender "I'll have a whiskey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and soda, please."
Bartender says "Sure, but why the big pause?"
Bear says, "I have a speech . . . . . . . . . . . . defect."

Children's Lessons in Virtue from History (1)

Said Washington to his wife,
"That dress makes you look fat."
Said Martha to her husband,
"What makes you say that?"
"I cannot tell a lie -
Remember the cherry tree?"
George began, but then his groin
Impacted with her knee

A Limerick about Death

When I was a young boy of eight,

A box of incredible weight

Almost dropped on my head.

And I would have been dead.

They say I about died of freight.

Ugg Boots (by CANDY)

This is a poem submitted in the comments that I thought was worth posting. Keep it up, Candy!

Ugg Boots

Uggs

Ugg

Ugg Sale

Uggs Online Sale

buy uggs
Buy Ugg Boots

Buy Uggs

Buy Uggs Online

Cheap uggs

Cheap ugg boots

discount ugg

discount ugg boots

Australia UGGS

Australia Ugg Boots

ugg bags
UGG Sheepskin Boots

Wholesale UGGS

Wholesale Ugg Boots

UGG Onsale
Ugg classic cardy

Fashion Ugg Boots

Fashion Uggs

uggs outlet

Classic Ugg Boots

Mini Ugg Boots