Jon Crum and the Mermaid

With a hearty bellow
From his mighty throat
Jon heaved up the anchor
And set out in his boat

He sailed for the pole
Much like Admiral Byrd
Though everybody laughed
And said he was absurd

But somewhere near Gibralter
(For there he ended near)
He finished off the thousandth
Bottle of his beer

When he saw a mermaid
With great beauty blessed
And a bra of seashell
Covering her breast*

"Coupe de foudre!" quoth Jon
"This is my lucky day!
I do love this mermaid
Though it is risque

"Now there's knots," continued Jon
"In my digestive juice
But her I cannot marry
For we could not reproduce"

When suddenly he noticed
A mermaid was she not!
But some Gibraltan girl
Who'd fallen off a yacht

And so they soon were married
Jon and Geraldine
But had to flee Gibralter
Since shes still seventeen

*In case you were wondering, she had two breasts. She wasn't some kind of freak. Jon's not gonna marry a one breasted girl, okay? Gimme a little poetic license here to make good rhymes and stuff, Buddy.