Guess who gave me this Post Card

Dear Nate,
Thank you for coming to my birthday party. Thank you also for the Southern Pacific covered hopper train car. I like it alot. I have a Southern Pacific closed car transporter that looks like a red boxcar with two gray arrows pointing in toward the center.
Your Friend, ...

Post Card Excerpts

Dear Nate,
We are moving pretty fast. The movement is making me sleepy and a little sick.

Dear Nate,
"You and me went camping." Wasn't that fun?

Dear Nate,
I am glad you finally received the giraffe ring toss.

Dear Nathaniel,
Do you know who lives in the White House? The President does.

The Perfect Drink (If You're Over Twenty-One)

To make the perfect alcoholic nip,

Follow this one itty-bitty tip.

Grab a glass, invite over a friend,

Stick to this list until you reach the end.

Gin and tonic with a shot of rum

(Skip the tonic if you haven't some).

Vodka, Scotch, the single malt's the best,

Cognac, whiskey add some lemon zest.

Some tequila, just a shot or three,

Triple Sec, Schnapps, and Campari.

Jagermeister, all that you have got

Vodka, bourbon, at least half a bot.

Sake, amaretto, cognac,

If you've got some sitting in the back.

Top it off with absinthe and Vermooth

A cup of sugar for a sweeter tooth.

Stir it well and pour it down the sink.

Grab a beer and have yourself a drink.

Ben Curell Versus the Mummy

The shotgun then errupted
Like the fires of some hell
And standing there triumphant
Was the mighty Ben Curell

The mummy now slumped over
Bereft of its head
Once the king of Egypt
The undead now was dead

And Kyla on Ben's shoulder
Now began to weep
Her children now were safe
From the vile creep

He'd downed his vicious foe
With a single shell
And standing there triumphant
The mighty Ben Curell

an explosion

yellow feathers everywhere

two giant orange feet, now only stubs

someone fed rice to big bird

All the Girls Love Jon Crum

All the girls love jon crum

Its the simple truth
He never takes advantage
Never is uncouth

But jon crum loves the girls

And is known to flirt
With anything thats pretty
In a denim skirt

And though i skirt the issue

Girls too i like
But this reply I always get
"Buddy take a hike"

Jon and i are smart and cool

Very handsome too
And yet we're very single
From my point of view

But heres what really steams me

I mean what the hell?
We both got beat to marriage
By frickin Ben Curell?

Hymn to the New Christ

Worship the new Christ
Magnificent in her mutilation
Holding the bloody remnants of her manhood in her hands

Worship the new Christ
Luxuriate in her loving embrace
All ye who are burdened with feelings of guilt and sorrow

Worship the new Christ
All ye lovers of flesh and of knowledge
Shes knocking at the door of your heart wont you let her in

Spit on the old Christ
Hate him hate him the ugly shameful Christ
As dignified as a crushed cat on the side of the road

Murder the old Christ
Son of an old barbarian father
Sodoms destroyer a cruel and intolerant tyrant

Bury the old Christ
Seal the tomb the dead cant judge the quick
Extinguish the flame crush the worm and have your best life now

Worship the new Christ
Christ 2000 guru goddess mother
All you need is love all you need is love is all you need

Worship the new Christ
And submit to the new circumcision
She devours the whole thing in a bite and youre free to go

Hail the new Christ
We the sisters of the mutilation
Holding the bloody remnants of our manhood in our hands

A Song

V 1.
Walkin down the street to your house
Everyday, O I pass by there
I look up at your window
Know I shouldn't, but I stop n stare
I wanna be with you forever
I know you better than anyone
Could ever know, trully know
Come down here and be my... one

(Hook)
Jump out the window, cross the lawn, and hold my hand
Stand beside me, wisper softly that I'm your man (2x)

V 2.
Walkin backwards down the street
The look in your eyes makes me complete
Know-not where I'm going from whence I came
But we'll get there down the lane
Now in the shade of the church yard
With our family and our God
We got married on that Sunday
I remember like it was yesterday

(Hook)
Jump out the window, cross the lawn, and hold my hand
Stand beside me, wisper softly that I'm your man
Call the preacher call your mother and your cousin Dan
Stand beside me wisper softly that I'm your man

Happy Babbitha,

Tabitha!

Clarence the Dancing Cow of Wonder

clarence the cow
would never allow
a single meow
from the cat
until the cat
hit him with a baseball bat