Monday, January 25, 2010
Bar jokes
Guy walks into a bar with a dog
Bartender says "What are you doing with that mangy old fleabag?"
Guys says "Cut him some slack. He's a dog.
Bartender says "I'm sorry. I was out of line."
Dog punches bartender in face.
Duck walks into a bar
Says "Got any grapes?"
Bartender says "No."
Next day, duck walks into the bar
"Got any grapes?"
Bartender says "No, we ain't got no grapes."
Next day, duck walks into the bar
"Got any grapes?"
Bartender says "No, I told you we ain't got no grapes, and if you ask me again, I'll nail you to the wall."
Duck says "Got any nails?"
Bartender says "No."
"Got any grapes?"
Bartender buys nails
Kills duck
Man walks into a bar
Says "Ouch"
Bar patrons stare at him
Bear walks into a bar
Says to the bartender "I'll have a whiskey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and soda, please."
Bartender says "Sure, but why the big pause?"
Bear says, "I have a speech . . . . . . . . . . . . defect."
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3 comments:
I thought I had heard all bar/animal jokes... I had not.
Penguin walks into a bar.
Penguin: Have you seen my dad?
Bar tender: What's he look like?
Penguin shows bar tender picture of bar tender.
Here's a real bar joke I like:
A little guy walks into a bar and slips on some vomit. Minutes later a tough guy walks into the bar and slips on the vomit. The little guy says, "I just did that." Big guy beats up little guy.
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